The best thing about “Villains”? It’s over, people. Stick a giant piece of glass into the back of its head and leave it inside the burning Company building, it’s dead. I’d love to think that the inconsistent plotting, schitzophrenic characterization, and over all what-the-f#ckery are also over now, but Lord knows they might yet find a way to screw up the essential premise of “X-Men 2″ with the next volume of Heroes, “Fugitives.”
Honestly, I don’t even have that much to say other than, “At least Jeph Loeb can’t possibly write the next volume-ending episode.” Half of my notes while watching consisted of me typing out things that openly questioned if I saw what I just saw. And not in a good way, either. More like, “no one’s gonna shoot out the spy cameras inside the Company, huh?” and “what are the odds ando’s first real attempt at time travel would be so specific and successful?” and “why do I watch this show while sober?”

And “Fugitives,” while a strong idea, is still spearheaded by Nathan Petrelli acting like a complete ass hat. Absolutely nothing about his character’s motivation makes a lick of sense. The same guy who flew his brother from Kirby Plaza now actively seeks out the decimation of his own kind because Peter didn’t share in his power-filled vision of the future? I call foul. Nathan and Peter are one of the emotional bedrocks of the series, and while I’m fine with building an arc around their falling out, I’d rather it come from some organic story, not some arbitrary revelation in Haiti.

(Speaking of Haiti, where the eff did the Haitian go after Arthur died? Did he take the world’s longest pee break right after? Bad timing, dude.)

Plotwise, the show was as schitzo as the characters in it. Rather than have a sole focus (stop the formula!), it split its time into threes. There was the Pinehurst storyline, the Company House of Horrors Storyline, and Dear God They Want Me to Punch Myself in the Eye like Barney Stinson storyline involving Hiro, Ando, Parkman, and Daphne. Sure, the first and third connected, but only by the grace of a Pokemon joke did they.

Meanwhile, Claire Bennett officially turned into Smallville’s Lana Lang this week, fully ensconced inside the writers’ good graces, unable to do anything wrong and always having the correct instincts about everything. She’s the Cheerleader, she’s the catalyst, she’s the potential killer of Sylar, she’s the walrus, coo coo kachoo. She saved everybody but her mother, since the Company has adrenaline in-house but apparently no sedatives. That’s terrifically convenient.

Now that Meredith’s dead, I’d love to ask Hiro why we had to spend a third of his spirit walk watching her hang out with Eric Roberts. I thought that was supposed to be really important in stopping the Formula Future, no? And yet, all she did was try to not have a fiery orgasm for the majority of the episode. Yatta! Seriously, Hiro didn’t learn a damn thing that was useful in that episode. And when your entire volume is only thirteen episodes, you can’t afford to waste anyone’s time if it’s ultimately meaningless narrative.

Keeping a long-form narrative is tough business, obviously. But the beauty of Heroes‘ volume structure is that they have afforded themselves the opportunity to tell smaller, more contained stories that have overall continuity but tighter focus on an arc to arc basis. And yet, they’ve seriously bungled their two shorter volumes while knocking the first, season-long one nearly out of the park. Lost managed to steer the Season 3 ship in time, thanks to a 21-episode arc that stretched from Jack waking up on Hydra Island through his bearded self  defeated outside of LAX. With these shorter arcs, Heroes doesn’t leave itself much time to right the ship, so to speak.

Is there any reason to hope “Fugitives” will be any different? Well, the premise, as stated earlier, is stronger and more realistic than “magical catalyst activates esoteric formula.” It’s a derivative storyline, but keeps with the original intent of the show (people in the real world with unreal abilities). And that one shot of the captured superheroes was chilling: it was half Fallout 3, half X-Wing fighter uniform. I want to know what those suits do, and how they neutralize their abilities. If someone about the eclipse gives the government insight as to how to stop the heroes, then those two eclipse-centric episodes were worth it. If not…well, hold onto your seats, people. Or your beer. You’re gonna need it.